Over a Decade

On 20-Dec-2002, around 3.30pm++, Kitorg slamat diijabkabulkan kt Masjid Kg Sekolah Juru.Pejam celik2, dh lebih 10 tahun yek kitorg dh kawen... Anak pon dah 2, even abg dh cm anak teruna dah... While Walid pon ummi dh transformkan dr sekeping ke membulat cm ummi... to make sure that we're balance...ekekeke...

10 tahun lepas

Latest pic

Our family, after 10 years

Cepatkan masa berlalu pergi. Harap2 ummi masih belum terlambat to build up our little family. Looking back for our memories, masih nampak cmner rupa ITTC yg menemu-jodohkan ummi & walid. FYI, both of us meet in cyber world... hehehe... chatting kt server UTM. Masa tu ummi 2nd sem kt UTMKL. Baru belajar2 cmner nk chatting. Setiap petang mesti nk g ITTC (something like cyber cafe kt UMTKL). Lama gak bersembang di-alam maya,pas bbrp bulan baru kitorg btukar2 no fon, then start calling2.. Masa tu, ummi dh 3rd sem. Dah sewa umah kt Pangsamurni. Waktu tu hanya ada 1 handfon (Sab punya) ngan satu fixed line kt umah tu. Korg bygkan, kitorg 10 org berebut pakai 1 telefon (of course lar berebut fixed line tu). Siap ada timetable kt sblh fon tu, reserved/booking time for each person. Yg pasti kitorg x segan silu, suh member yg tgh bgayut (patut lar org paggil cinta monyet) letakkan fon tu supaya next incoming call leh masuk.... hehehe.... manisnya dikenang (p/s : klu rasa2 panas sgt hati ngan pasangan kita, cuba2lar kenangkan our sweet memory... byk yg manis sebenarnya, cuma bila marah, asek nk ingat yg x elokk... jer....Takkan lah satu kesalahan, mampu memadamkan beribu kebaikan. Bawa-bawalah berubah. Dalam rumah tangga perlu ada "Mawaddah wa Rahmah", nescaya perkahwinan itu akan bersambung di syurga.

A decade anniversary falling on the special date : 20-12-2012.

Fortunately, my company dinner 20-10-2012, have a great theme "WEDDING"

Rupa pengantin lama yg dh berkembang pesat. :)

Kembara Mencari Diri - Part 3 : Temporary Escapism

Kesan dari kelas ritu, aku cuba menikmati hidup, mencuri masa sendirik, dicelah2 kesempitan jadual padat.

Bagun pagi di hari sabtu, Walid dh siap2 unt g keje. Sllunya, dia cuti tp, aku bz. Tp tbalik lar plak. Aku dh jnji dgn diri sendiri, x nk wat pape keje opis weken ne. Just spend my time unt wat PSM sket, the rest, let it be free... Nk spend time ngan mak, walaupon sbnrnya dok buli mak wat itu ini, while aku makan jer...pstu gaduh ngan anak2... hua3x.  Walid plak tpaksa g keje weken ne sbb nk cover Isnin-Rabu walid ada course kt Bukit Tinggi, Pahang. Gosok uniform walid 2 pasang + slack + kemeja 5 pasang, pastu aku on FB, melahu.. sidai baju 2 trip (std weeken), prepare simple lunch ayam masak kicap cendawan & bakar ikan talapia. 

Petang, walid dh call b4 coming back, suh siap2, dia nk tunaikan hajat aku g pantai remis, kuala selangor carik exotic seafood. Last month, masa g dinner kt sana, aku nmpka byk tul siput2 yg dh susah nk nmpak, dijual murah kat sana. Lokan, besaq gile, kerang besaq, teloq ikan duri... whoaa.. cm nk borong suma, tp bila kenang2 yg dapoq aku sllu x berasap, aku lupakan lar niat murni tu.. Tp aku sumpah, klu mak mai sini, kompom, aku pi carik suma mende tu, mesti mak pon teruja.. klu kt kg la ne, depa juai lokan tu sekoq singgit, mahai sungguh.. kt pantai remis ne, 3 kg rm10 jer.. Sampai kat sana, huhh... hampanya aku, byk kedai tutup. Namun hajat aku nk cari teloq ikan tertunai dah.. Tada.. pagi ne, mak dh bertungkus lumus wat kari teloq ikan. pastu rebus mentarang.. siput yg dh berpuluh tahun mak x jmpa. Aku plak, jgn kata jumpa, dgr nama pon x penah.. Wat korg yg senasib ngan aku, korg tgok jer lar gambaq ihsan pakcik gugel ne. Aku malaih nk update gmbar yg mak masak.. (malas nk berebut tipon ngan anak2 aku)

Pas balik dr pantai remis smlm, kami g the store, carik barang sket unt walid nyer course. Kasut dh rabak, beg dh patah roda, sumanya kene bganti... pastu enjoy the dinner (sizzling mee) kt food court bwh tu, kitorg habis jer makan, food court pon tutup... huarghhh... dh kul 9 mlm rupanya..

Pagi ne, aku masih bermalas2, apa pon x wat... walau dlm hati, rasa bsalah, but I'm still doing nothing. PSM baru dpt 4 muka, hasil copy paste dr pak cik gugel gak.. Matlab telah berjaya di install, bila tgok demo jer, aku sangap, pastu aku tutup... hehehe... Nikmat kan hidup aku rini, Esok tgok lar... terbalik meja opis, ssb keje menimbun. This is just temporary escapism ya ukhtie...

Kembara mencari diri - Part 2 : Childhood

Selected among hundred colleagues,which I still can't understand why me. The course will be held for 8 months & it's fall right under my miserable life. Starting PSM1, changing management & so many unplanned schedule, make me stress. Bukan x mahu mencoret, tetapi, tlalu byk kekangan masa. Aku sahut seruan MD aku, take it as a self discovery. Dh brp tahun aku hidup, mana arah tuju aku?? Mati itu pasti, hidup ne yg x brapa pasti sbnrnya...

 Aku masa umoq 8 thn ngan Sarah 3 thn

32years pass like a minute. Lip pok lip pok, Seri kesayangan ayah dh pon menjadi ummi kepada Zakwan Maisarah. Anak degil yg mmg slalu bgaduh ngan Mak pasai x reti wat keje umah dah kawen more than 10y with Ahmad Faizul.  Adik kecik ChopChotJanDa dh tua merega, tapi masih meminta perhatian dari abg2 dia. Masa darjah satu dulu, aku bcita2 nak jadi che'gu. Typical, anak kampung... mana ada cita2 lain dah... Bila dh naik skolah menengah, aku masuk AIGS. Masa tu byk sgt kematian & kesakitan disekeliling aku... Aku rasa cm nk jadik Doktor lar plak... Belajaq malas, asek teriak nk tukaq skolah, kunun2nya x besh skolah Agama,x dak science stream. Skolah kecik giler, huargh... aku nk p skolah lain, nk bebas.. Tapi arwah ayah, sincerely said sorry to me. "Seri anak kesayangan ayah, tapi ayah rasa ayah x mampu jaga Seri. Seri pi la belajaq kat asrama tu, sekolah agama baguih. Sabaq sat, Seri blajaq rajin2, dpt 7A ke atas, kita minta tukaq ke MRSM ye..". Bila aku dpt 5A, aku tau yg aku x kan mampu jadi Doktor. Aku x mau dok AIGS lg, aku nk blik HSBM. Ayah x izinkan. Tukaq skolah ok, tp dgn syarat aku dok asrama jugak. Last choice that I'm having is, skolah teknik. Tu pon slps anak kontraktor yg sorg ne, cite pasal cmner nk jadik engineer. Aku ajak Abg Chot pi teknik Kulim amik borang. Cik Eda lar yg tolong isikan borang skolah teknik kat aku. Dia yg pilih sumanya drpd course sampailah nama skolah, suma dia yg pilih.

Alhamdulillah, ayah masih berbangga dgn anak kesayangan dia ne. Aku ingat lagi ayat ayah, "x pa lar Seri. X dpt jd Dr. jd Engineer pon jadilah..." Masa tu aku tgh tolong dia ikat bata kt dpn kedai, tmpat pak long slalu main karom ngan anak2 buah aku. I'm luv to work with him, especially wat rumah & btukang kayu. Ayah mmg gelakkan aku masa aku wat projek KH. Wat tanggam pon failed, Asal aku ketuk jer pahat tu, kayu aku terus merekah, pastu patah.. Sudahnya, dia yg siapkan projek aku, siap syilek kan lagi.. bkilat whoaa.. FYI, my late father ada byk skill. Mgkin sbb dia susah dulu, dia wat mcm2 keje unt sara diri & family. Dia Hero aku, dari dulu smpai la ne. Dia boleh jd nelayan sbb nk bagi kami makan fresh seafood everyday. Mak kata masa ngandung kat aku dia mmg peminat udang tegar. Hari2 mkn nasi ngan udang rebus. X dak udang, mak sggup x mkn. Dlm masa yg sama, ayah ada usahakan tanah bwh seliaan jab. pertanian. Dia tanam tebu, luasss sgt... Dia tanam tembikai. Yg pasti, dia akan bawa balik tembikai yg paling besaq & manis unt famili kami. Tp aku x bp ingat, mgkin aku kecik sgt kot masa tu. Yg aku ingat sgt, Mak tolong Ayah berkebun kt keliling umah. Aku suka ikut mak pi kebun ubi kayu tepi umah kami, belah kiri. Abg2 syg aku, depa watkan aku pondok celah2 pokok ubi kayu tu. Pakai btg ubi wat tiang. Daun nyoq wat bumbung, hias ngan daun ubi.. hehehe... Abg2 ada "ran" atas pokok teja, balik kanan umah. Depa suka main cak lempong @ senapang bemban. Main perang2.. Aku sorg jer pompuan, kecik pulak tu, slalu kena tembak awal... berbirat badan... Aku kuat teriak, mak slalu ligan depa, especially Abg Jan dgn btg ubi kayu tu... Sbb aku rasa, aku slalu salahkan abg Jan, dlm apa situasi pon... Dia slalu jd kambing hitam unt aku lepaskan diri hua3x. Arwah ayah boleh bertukang, dia mmg amik upah wat umah. In fact, rumah kami kt Tok Kangar ngan Umah pertama Abg Chop, dia wat sendiri, tanpa upah org. Abg Chop paling byk tolong dia. Abg Chot, huh mmg aku x penah tgok btukang. Abg Jan plak, pas pikul kayu 3x2 sbtg kompom, dia akan tkelepek... letih... huhuhu... Kdg2 pak long tolong ayah sket2. Tp dia kurang suku drp org lain, klu angin dia baik, byk mende lar yg dia leh wat, klu x mmg x leh harap sgt. Ayah boleh memasak, sbb tu dia bukak kedai makan, seusia dgn aku. Maknanya, kedai yg diwarisi Abg Chot + Abg Jan tu dh berusia 32 tahun. Abg Chop ada byk skill cm Arwah Ayah, Abg Chot + Jan warisi kedai mkn ayah+mak. Aku?? Ntah, mixing well in between Ayah + Mak. Hanya aku yg tahu huraikan apa ayat quran hafalan arwah ayah. Thanks Ayah, klu x skolah kat AIGS, mesti x dak sapa recognize ayat tu, dh lah dlm tulisan jawi trengkas, x dk baris @ titik. korg biasa bc shortform kt sms kan, dlm BM mixing BI. yg ne bkn jawi, doa Haikal . Selain dr tu, ayah ada byk lg doa2 yg mmg berlipat dlm wallet & beg dia. Suma tulisan dia, jawi-trengkas. Cmne nk bezakan BA ngan NGA pon leh wat aku tnganga.. Merangkak2 aku baca. Mmg aku terpempan, Ayah mmg hebat, skolah takat darjah 5, skolah kg, x penah ikut tbligh memana pon... tp ayah ada knowledge hebat drpd anak dia yg perasan hebat sb g skolah agama 3 tahun jer... huhuhu.... Bila dh beranak pinak ne, baru aku ngam ho ngan Mak. Tu lar, slalu gaduh ngan mak, pastu nyorok blakang ayah. Bila dh ada anak, pandai plak marah, bila anak aku cingelat... baru tau langit tu tinggi rendah. Aku dh byk warisi peel mak, talkative, sensitive, tp cekal hati. Aku rasa, tu mmg keyword unt jadi mak kot...

Terima kasih Ya Allah, kerana berikan aku keluarga yg terbaik yg menjadi teras jati diri ne. Tahu menghargai & sentiasa memberi tanpa perlu meminta. Kami susah dahulu, tapi x pernah x makan. Malah arwah adalah org yg kerap menjamu org makan. Umah kami sentiasa penuh ngan org. Sepupu aku mmg slalu dok ngan kami. Cuti skolah, umah kami mcm kem pelarian, klu tdoq tu bgelimpangan jer.. No worries, coz most of my cousin are boys, satu family usually have 1 doter, the rest are sons. Sometimes  only sonssss.... no girl at all. Till to day, most of my cousin still call my mom as "Mak" bukannya mak long. If their real mom sitting nearby, they will call my mom as "Mak Chah". Ayah always be ayah to all my cousins. Selain tu, anak2 muda kampung pon selalu melepak kt beranda rumah, kdg2 tumpang tidoq diserambi atas. Depa slalu main dam ngan karom kt bwh umah (rumah papan kami cukup tinggi unt sorg dewasa bjln tnpa perlu terbongkok2). Kami makan, depa makan. Tp, nasik ngan lauk kami sentiasa cukup. Kata ayah, tetamu tu bawa rezeki. Bukan semua rumah org suka pi. Malah ada rumah yg pintu besi (grill), sggup kunci pintu depa, takut yg anak2 org susah ne masuk umah depa, kencin ataih karpet depa. Kaki depa kotoq, sbb kdg2 depa x der kasut (org utara panggil slipper tu kasut. Selipar tu, maknanya slipa jepun - tat sing). Mak aku gak senang, pakai tikaq mengkuang, hampa wat lar pape pon, klu kotoq aku basuh lar sat g. Bukan susah, bawak pi telaga, pastu cerok ngan ayaq. Berus lar ngan sabun.. jemoq kt dinding telaga. Great things abot telaga ne, dia x penah kering walaupon musim kemarau. Jiran2 slalu tumpang mandi klu x dak ayaq paip. Dulu slalu ada catuan ayaq paip. Telaga ne mmg byk jasa kat kami suma. 

Banci tahun 1985, org yg mai banci tanya kat mak mcm mana makcik duduk dlm umah papan ne dgn 15 org. Mana x nya, Cik Diah dlm pantang, bersalin kt Sarah, Kak Besah bersalin kat Amat, Mak Su bsalin kat Ilah. Tok nek dh umoq 117tahun, dok ngesot jer dlm umah. Tok Kiah dh tua, boleh lar tolong basuh lampin adik2 spupu aku selai 2.  Mak jer sorg pompuan yg masih gagah menjaga kami suma. Kami 4 beradik, mmg x penah tolong mak wat keje umah. Jaga lembu boleh lar... (sbnrnya, tu ayat cingelat x nk tolong mak kt umah...hehehe) Pak Long mmg dh kurang suku, sejak kenduri kawen kak besah, kata mak dia tlangkah mende tak elok kt dpn tgga. Elok jer selesai kenduri kak Besah, pak long bersilat dlm umah. Since that day, dia dh x mcm asal. Masa tu kami ada TV hitam putih sebijik & pakai ayaq telaga je. Air paip x der, ayah x mmpu masukkn kt umah kami. Mahai kos nk pasang pili & apply kt gomen. Ayah slalu cedok ayaq byk2 isi dlm kolah @ tempayan unt kami pakai. Aku suka bila ayah mandikan aku. Bila aku start skolah, aku akan tidoq terekot dpn pintu dapoq, slagi mak x masakn ayaq panas, mampoih, aku mogok x mau mandi. Mana dak nya, ayaq telaga,  kompom aku ketaq dr mandi smpai bekpes minum ayaq kopi O hangat... Aku sempat rasa mandi ayaq panchoq gomen. Ada satu kt simpang dpn, dlm 3 minit bjln @ berlari dr umah kami, berebut turn unt mandi. Kt panchoq tu ada pokok dedap, pas mndi, aku akan amik skit, bw balik unt bagi mkn arnab. Smbil jln blik, klu jumpa pokok ribena (aka pokok rossele), aku kutip buah dia yg masak, gigit sket, ptuiihh... x sedap, aku buang. La ne org pakat2 beli pokok roselle wt tnm kt laman umah. 

I miss my childhood so much. It's a great time. Boleh wat apa aku suka, mintak apa aku mau. Mak ngan ayah x penah x bagi.. Aku satu2nya anak ayah yg ada basikal BMX. Kaler merah lagi... Sian, abg2, depa naik beskat tua ayah jer... Kalau lar boleh diundur masa, kan beshh.... wat pape pon x bdosa. Sentiasa "bersih" walaupon aku comot... hehehe.... Sian anak2 aku, hidup dlm kota batu. Ntah2 pokok ubi kayu pon depa x kenai... Wish that can turn time. 

 Linda + Faizul = Zakwan & Maisarah

Kembara Mencari Diri - Part 1 : I'm ESFJ

My personal record for the activity during the class.

1 nail can support 13 nails, while vs of it : 13 nails together being the roof trusses to one nail.

What is the best describe the meaning?

Just finish 2 days class. Can called it as a self discovery class. Selected among hundred colleagues, & I'm still wondering why me?? It's really fun class, know your inner ability, strength & weakness. At the end of the class, I'm was realize that  I'm ESFJ - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging

The Caregiver

As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.

ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.

An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any.

ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.